Understanding the Dutch

The only way I managed to afford travelling around Europe for 6 months was by not paying for accommodation. I did this by planning my travels around friend's couches I knew I could sleep on, and from meeting new people along the way. I am so grateful for each one of my hosts because this a), gave me the opportunity to see many different places, b) it allowed me to see those places through the eyes of true locals, and c), knowing these locals and meeting their friends allowed me to not only learn, but question, why certain cultural stereotypes exist. In October I was in France when I received a call from an Australian friend (who was originally from England), saying that he was going to visit some of his old school friends who now live in Amsterdam, and that I should come and visit. I had never been to the Netherlands before, and at that point I hadn’t seen a friend from home in 3 months, so I happily accepted the invitation. 

It didn’t take me long to fall in love with Amsterdam, and not because my friend instantly greeted me with a beer as soon as I stepped off the train, but because Amsterdam had an atmosphere like i’d never seen before in Europe. All different walks of life passed us from the train station to the apartment, all so content biking around their village-like city. As we weaved in and out of the canals to get to the apartment, I was quickly warned by my new friends about the Dutch. I was told that they’re “brutally honest people”, and that I “shouldn’t take it personally”. 

The anti-authoritarian and individualistic attitude from the 70s is still very present in the Netherlands today, where a lot of freedom is placed on the individual. Personal choice for the individual ranges from sex, speech, religion, drugs, and beyond. Coming from a traditionally egalitarian society, the Dutch pride themselves on being able to do and say as they wish. The Dutch are straight to the point kind of people, you can see it in their eyes when they ride past you on their bike. Foreigners in the Netherlands are have said to have found the Dutch’s honesty rude, while the Dutch apparently find foreigner’s lack of honesty rude. There is no such thing as ‘plain rudeness’ as we like to refer to it, because just like you would never blow your nose in public in Japan, all ‘rudeness’ is culturally relative. Anglo-saxons infamously pride themselves on being non-confrontational and prefer the ‘sliding things under the carpet’ approach. This comparison means that when a Dutchman has problem with someone, they will not be shy to tell that person; where if an Anglo-saxon has a problem with someone, they will most likely lie about it to avoid confrontation (but in turn will bitch about it later to their friends). The Dutch will proudly tell you that they’re blunt people, but at the same time they’ll also tell you that they have no deliberate intention to upset anyone. The critical yet constructive Dutch approach undoubtably attributed to their famous 17th century Golden Age of writers, artists, and thinkers. One afternoon at a cafe in Amsterdam I asked the barista why no one wears a helmet whilst riding their bike in the Netherlands. The barista handed over my coffee as he then reassured me that, “the Dutch don’t need to wear helmets because we already know how to ride our bikes”.

On my second day in Amsterdam I decided to solo venture, and quickly managed to get a little lost (very lost). After briefly trying to work out where I was, I decided it would be easier to ask a passing local instead. I asked a woman if she had a free second to help me, and she accepted. We had a little conversation where she asked me where I was from, and what I was doing in Amsterdam. I told her that I was Australian, and that I was just on holidays after finishing my degree in June. I asked her directions on where to go, and then she asked if I had a map on me. 

“Yes I do,” I said, showing her my map. She breifly looked at the map, and then back at me.

 “You mean to tell me that you’ve been to university, but you can’t read a map?” She asked.

While internally questioning if I had heard her correctly while simultaneously giving my wounded ego a minute to heal itself, it was finally apparent as to what was happening. Her face did not hold a smirk of one that was trying to insult me, in fact her face looked more worried than anything. I'd heard that Dutch woman were notoriously strong and tough characters, therefore I know she expected more from me as a capable woman, and I had evidently let her down. She then told me the directions for where I needed to go, wished me a safe holiday, and then walked off. Her Dutch criticism in the shape of a facial expression proved that I really should have worked that one out by myself. At the end of the day, she was right, I am an university graduate, and I should have more than an $18, 000 university debt to show for it. 

In Amsterdam there was a reoccurring fashion theme among the women. Dutch women have a very low maintenance, downplayed look about them. The casual style of dressing was awarded onto every Dutch women that I passed. Because riding your bike is an everyday reality for the polder woman, they can’t risk not being able to bike in what they’re wearing. It’s practicality over prettiness, mechanics over miniskirts, and function over frills for the Dutch women. The Dutch in general are known for being precious about their money, and this is evident in the fact that absolutely everyone is wearing jeans. Not that there is anything wrong with wearing jeans, but everyone is wearing them, everywhere you look, every hour of the day. Footwear was also notably bike orientated, it’s always enclosed and absolutely always flat; and to my absolute shock- even the Australian Ugg boot was making a few appearances. The Dutch woman is also virtually never caught with makeup on, and has a constant wind-swept look to her hair, again, attributed to the product of the bike. 

A nation of bikers creates a quick, frank, and blunt population. Having a bike is not how you get from A to B in the Netherlands, it’s a demeanour; a lifestyle. When you can see that someone’s about to crash into your bike from around the corner, the Dutch don’t have the time to soften their words and ask, “excuse me, could you please slow down around that corner if you have time”. The first rule about being in the Netherlands is that the person on the bike is always right. If a rouge biker hits you while you’re walking, it’s your own fault. Sharon Bower said “the basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive, is how our words and behaviour affect the rights and well being of others.” Us Anglo-saxon’s have numerous unspoken conventions that we are taught from a young age to follow everyday in order to maintain a harmonious society. Walking through the busy Amsterdam crowds with my British friends, we were so constantly saying our very English “sorry’s” to every Lars, Max, and David that we ever so slightly touched with our elbow. Even though the Dutch couldn’t of cared less, we were still so programmed to apologise to every person we knocked, and the more I heard us repeating the word “sorry”, the more I heard it lose any sense of meaning or sincerity. It’s like those Americans who ‘love’ everything. The Brits are a polite bunch who never want to step on anyones toes, so any culture that doesn’t always want to let the next person in the line go in front of them, will appear rude. Most Brits also pride themselves on being politically correct, and this is why you can imagine the shock when we found out that the old cranky woman downstairs called us, a “kankerlijer’’ which directly translated as a “cancer sufferer”. We also got notified that the Dutch have many other questionable daily insults including: “Kankeraap”, which means “cancer monkey” and even lovelier, “kankerhoer”, which means “cancer whore”. “Those insults aren’t as rude in Dutch as you’ve taken them”, Max, a Dutchman that we sat next to at a bar would tell us, “the Dutch are lighthearted people you see, and we’re not very easily offended. That’s one thing about the English you know, you always seem quite uptight”.